Rednecks and Snow Storm Stories.

Rednecks being useful in snow storms.

This isn't my story but HER ain't going to post it so I'll tell my interpretation of it. We got a snow storm. A few of them actually, all within 2 weeks. Fucking thing was record breaking. The night before it all hits HER goes out with some friends to a hockey game. I didn't go because there was only one ticket available and HER has never gone to a hockey game so she went and I stayed home and played on my computer. During the game the "lily white hell" slowly came down and painted everything in about foot and a half of cold imported polar bear tears.

I hear it was a miracle that they made it from the game to our friend's house alive.

Once there however winter's revenge kept coming and the snow piled higher and higher. Apparently HER was going to be stuck where she was until some of this white "holy fuck" could be contained somewhat. She had a good time there don't get me wrong, but apparently she would have rather be snowed in with me because she loves me or something like that. I on the other hand couldn't give a damn what was going on outside so long as I had power and I could still tinker with my computers.

Eventually however HER found her white knight in the shape of a redneck with a huge truck with tires that must have eaten smaller cars for breakfast. The truck might as well had the license plate: "SNW RAPE" cause that's apparently what it did. The very nice redneck apparently was one of those people who would drive doctors and nurses to and from hospitals in this kind of scenario, so you know, they could save lives. HER asked if he could take some time out in saving lives to drive her home and he agreed. What a guy.

Rednecks being useless in snow storms.

Now that HER was back we were able to be together and wait for the white crap to stop falling from the sky. Because we (and by "we" I mean "nearly entirely her") had to shovel out our drive way and eventually make it BACK to the friend's house to get her car back. Why didn't I do the shoveling? Why did I let her do all the shoveling? Because "outside" is her job, that's why you sexist pig. ^_^

Eventually we were able to make it to the friends house so the whole process of shoveling and trying to get a car out of a one lane dead end street could begin. This time I did do some shoveling. We were eventually able to get the car out of the parking space but not down the street due to the really icy and inconsistent nature of how the street was/wasn't plowed. Unfortunately there was a guy (Redneck 2) who was further in the dead end, trying to get out. Redneck 2 also had a big ass truck with the traditional redneck emblem; a US flag (and eagle) mural around his back windshield. This one however was less than helpful as when he saw us (and it was hard not to as we were in his way) he just got out of his truck and stood there and watched us shovel the street.

Now granted, I wasn't expecting him to help. Well, actually I was but I don't think he was morally obligated to help. Had he did it would have been nice and he would have been on his way a whole lot sooner but I would not hold it against him if he did not help us. What I do hold against him (because I'm just that kind of hateful muthafucker) is that he left his truck on. So we had to shovel the road in his truck exhaust while the bastard stood there, smoking a cigarette, wearing a cowboy hat while holding his ridiculously big belt buckle. Please sir, at least sit inside your truck and enjoy the heat that is being generated by your useless burning of your gas, OR turn off your truck, save some gas and go back inside and check to see if we're done. Nope you just wanted to watch as we shoveled snow in you truck exhaust. Thanks dude. ..::cough::.. ..::hack::..

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So as it turns out this years winter weather adventures have not really changed my outlook on rednecks. I believe we have broken even. So the status stays at "Will laugh at but probably have no interest talking to" until my next interaction with a fella of that particular flavor.