...And I mean this, with all the love in the world...

Look, I've had a really nice weekend and a really nice Monday so please understand that I say this with no real anger, it's just something I have to get off my chest.

It shouldn't surprise anyone that I put myself out there quite a bit. I want to be accessible I want to live a life without secrets and regret and if people learn a lesson from my exploits or get a chuckle or two out of it, awesome. What I don't usually do is put other people's stuff out there. That's not my business. That's not something I want to do. This whole fiasco (wedding planning that is) happens to involve many people and because of that I have been relatively silent. However by doing so I have been neglecting this blog, and by doing that, not allowed this blog to do what it was originally created to do, nor have I discussed the specifications of making such an event come to fruition. Because of that I haven't said much but I've changed my mind and there are some things I need to get off my chest.

BUT, I am reminded that planning a wedding (and the wedding itself) is supposed to be a joyous occasion and we should not try and make things difficult. At least, that's what my mother tells me. So to honor her wishes (and perhaps keep myself out of the dog house) I will try and be fair but I will also be myself. So there.

First off let's talk about the players of this little game.

Groom-To-Be
Me. The guy who doesn't really put much stock into this marriage thing but is completely devoted to his fiance and wants to make her happy. Has a tendency to be loud, dense, and stubborn.
Main Objective: To get through this fiasco alive with minimal after effects from both sides of the families.

Bride-To-Be
Her. The girl who was cool enough to put up with me and patient enough to stay with me.
Main Objective: To have an outside, spiritual and happy (small) party with friends and family to dance all night with.

The-Mother-N-Law
Her's mom. The Jewish mother who is part of and raised a very emotional family with roots in French, Egyptian, and Jewish cultures. "Proper" is the name of her second religion and she will call upon that god to smite thy and thine logic should it go against her church.
Main Objective: Be Jewish. Be Proper.

The-Father-N-Law
Her's dad. The guy who doesn't want to be left behind despite having no real interest in the proceedings regardless of how many times he's warned that he probably doesn't want to be there.
Main Objective: To tell soon to be bride and groom that they should have eloped and to be heard whenever possible.

The-Sister-N-Law
Her's older sister. Is only mentioned here because she should have gotten married first sparing me from this ordeal.
Main Objective: None that I know of.

The-Mother
My mom. She's the florist.
Main Objective: Make sure I don't get myself into too much trouble with the Soon-To-Be-Bride, The-Mother-N-Law, The-Asians, The-Jews, or anyone else.

The-Asians
Mostly the rest of my family. It doesn't count unless it's done over good food.
Main Objective: To eat good food and if it's good enough, to throw munies at us.

The-Jews
Some of Her's family, some of my friends, some of which keep kosher. REAL kosher.
Main Objective: I don't know but it sure makes it harder to feed The-Asians "good food" if I can't give them beef, chicken, duck, pig, lamb, lobster, crab, oysters, or eels.

The-Father
My father. He's my father.
Main Objective: "Meh." (I love my daddy.)

So those are the players. There might be more but we'll get to them if they come up. Stories coming soon.