I got a joke fer ya...

200 hundred years ago when the US was a younger, stupider nation they joked that there would be a black president when pigs fly.

Now our president is taking care of his first 100 days, and swine flu.

New favorite commercial

I has one!

Did you know?

You (supposedly) can have companies bid to provide you power. To me having a choice is awesome and can probably save you money or, at the very least, feel better about your current provider of magical ju-ju to your house.

Before I start everything I know about this I just learned a few minutes ago from this site. I hope to do some more research to see what I can dig up but I'll also sum up what I can here.

Here are the states that have this for sure (according to the site): New Jersey, Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Oregon, Texas, Arizona, Washington D.C., Maryland, New York, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Michigan, Virginia, and New Hampshire.

Supposedly there is a site that is independent from the power companies that gauges the costs of various power companies that may be available to you depending on your zip code. Now I've tried a decent number of zip codes for MD but none of them really worked. Which sucks BUT I am curious if this is true so, if I find anything out I'll be sure to let you know.

Living with Pigs

This is an article about a man who spent a few days living, sleeping and eating with pigs. During his stay in the pen he learned and developed a way to communicate with the pigs and grew an appreciation and understanding of the animals we eat and what goes into it. Because of his new education he has become a more conscious consumer and realizes that pigs are far more intelligent than we give them credit for.

This sort of thing makes me want to get a pig for a pet even more.

Oh! One last thing. The man didn't become vegan or even a vegetarian. Two months after this experience he actually missed and ate bacon. Yea that's right. Behold the power of bacon, you'd step over your own mother to get some wouldn't you?

Religious / Political Bru-ha-ha

There's some talk about Texas seceding so I dug up an old favorite article of mine. Enjoy.

>>>>>

"Red State vs. Blue State"

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no

purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

What if All People just Disappeared?

What happens if people just disappeared all of a sudden? Yea I know it's old, but Her hasn't seen it so I figured I'd share. These are my sources (there were more but I can't remember them). What I have that follows is basically a summation with my own little comments.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19225731.100

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4939078184096254535

Summary:

Instantly – 1 day. Pollution stops. Cars stop running and factories stop producing.

24 - 48 hrs. Blackouts start to occur due to no one adding fuel to power stations.

1 day to 2 yrs. Rats and other vermin run rampant. House cats dominant species in cities.

1 week. Anything caged that can’t escape is dead or dying and will probably soon be eaten by something. (includes zoo animals)

5 – 20 yrs. Fishes start to rebound from overfishing.

20+ yrs. Original dominant species take back their hunting grounds

20 yrs. Every single goddamn poodle died or has gotten eaten by now. Sadly more awesome dogs like Boxers, Bull Dogs and other short nosed dogs who can’t hunt die too.

50 yrs. Most forests are 80% of what they were before human intervention

10-100 yrs. Roofs start to cave in and buildings start to crumble.

100 yrs. The average “committed global warming” finally stops as equilibrium is finally reached.

1000+ yrs. Human effects on the ozone start to fade.

10,000+ yrs. All evidence of our dominance disappears or is destroyed.

20,000+ yrs. The oceans finish absorbing the extra ozone.

100,000+ yrs. Most evidence of our existence is gone, except maybe for some nuclear waste and fossil record. Maybe some tightly packed and stacked newspapers will still be around.

The Online Tests That I Find...

Created by Sex Toys.org

Let Me Explain Something to You Women (and to some clueless men too)

I know you didn't ask but I'm going to explain it anyways.

In a men's bathroom there are standing stalls. Sometimes there's a separating wall sometimes not. Regardless of the presence of a wall or not if there is a wall full of opened stalls it is awkward for another man to come up right next to you and start peeing. How can I explain this very simply...

For a man, having another man pee right next to him is like, if you were a woman, having a man pee right next to you.

Look, I know you girls go to the bathrooms together and whether you pee or not you'll probably talk to each other. That's probably why you're there. You don't need to powder your nose, that nose is full on powdered, it ain't getting more powdery. So having a girl pee next to you when you're a girl probably isn't that weird or awkward. Hell, you probably hand each other tp under the wall divider while you're hovering there. Yea I know you hover or "sprinkle tinkle." Look, it's not because I peek or nothin' I've just been around girls for most of my life. My mother was a girl. Oh yea, you think Him don't know about you but HIM KNOW.

But let's not go into my past. Just know that I've learned a few things during my lifetime surrounded by women. You guys probably even "low-five" for a job well done and tp shared. And when you both are done you probably thank each other and give out hugs for such a warm moment of sharing and "sisterhood." Damn the man and his evil penis of hate and death. Frankly the idea of you guys hugging in the bathroom, like much of the stuff on the internet, both grosses me out and makes me happy in the pants.

So yea, a fellow sister peeing next to you, probably not that awkward. But if a man did it, and did it right next to you and all that seperated you two from your business was an OCCASIONAL 6 in x 3 ft wall I bet you'd feel pretty awkward. Wouldn't you like it much better if he did that shit on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ENTIRE BATHROOM?!

Yea, us to.

Signed,

Him and men everywere.


(Except maybe gay guys. They may high-five... But some of them probably have really high standards.)