Parent's Day

Ah the eventual day where the heads of the red team go and meet the heads of the blue team in the mutual acceptance that one day they will be related to each other. It is a day that could have been filled with awkwardness, painful silences and/or fisticuffs. Ours however was not nearly as exciting. My parents were as they usually are, my mom dressed to the latest fashion trends by designers of whom I can’t name because my French isn’t that good. My dad, goofy and passionate about his latest endeavors spoke about them no matter how irrelevant they were to the current conversation.

Her parents were very nice and played along well. I’ll let Her introduce her parents.

Coming along for the party were not only us but Her’s sister (and maid of honor) and my cousin (who’s like a sister to me) and a future bride’s maid. If I had it my way I would have invited both the parents to a place where they would meet and the two of us would abandon them for an hour forcing them to talk about how evil the children they have are and then be bonded by mutual disgust. Unfortunately Her veto’ed that idea.

The place that was decided upon was the Cheesecake Factory. We picked there because the original idea was to go to a Chinese place since every other time I’ve eaten out with Her’s parents it was to a Chinese place that served Americanized Chinese gruul. Such a place would be damn near insulting to my parents as it is almost damn near insulting to me. We couldn’t go to a REAL Chinese food place that serves REAL Chinese food because it would be in unfair territory. So we decided that the cheesecake factory would be the most neutral of meeting grounds. And there just so happens to be one in between my folks and hers.

I honestly don’t even remember what was discussed so it probably wasn’t too important so I’ll just leave it at this.

Fun/Interesting Links

I recently found a bunch of links that might be helpful for people in our situations or similar situations. I'm putting them up there just as much for you as it is for us in the present and future.

Apartment Therapy - Cool things to do to your place to make it look spiffy, and the equally important, Apartment Therapy ohdeedoh which is the same thing except it's for if you have kids too.

Petfinder - *Note to Her* this doesn't mean we're getting a pet, it just means should we decide that it's a good idea this would be a pretty decent place to start looking.

Lookybook - A place where you can flip through kids books in their entirety so you can decide whether you want to buy it or not.

Nymbler - a naming website.

The Nest - a resource for those that are going to start living together and start managing things on a jointly basis. A little yuppie but still very helpful I think.

A Sturdy Ring For A Sturdy Girl

"Her"

Well "Him" really wants me to try and write even though I hate to write, so I thought I would talk about the ring. When Him and me went to go get the ring it wasn't like most couples go to get a ring. I know nothing about jewelry, stones, cuts of diamond, or anything of the sort and I'm pretty sure Him is as clueless as me.

We went to a little fancy antique shop where we looked around for a while until one of the people finally pulled out a set of three very small and simple (delicate) rings. They weren't too big or gaudy and just what I had wanted. One of them had a white pearl in the center with a red ruby on either side. It gave Him and I an idea and we decided to get me a black pearl with a sapphire on each side. However, it turns out that I can't handle a pearl since they are soft jewels. I would probably bang my hand against things too much or loose it since it needs to be taken off to shower and wash dishes.

So the ring we got was a bit sturdier, a sapphire in the center with two small diamonds on either side. But, to tell the truth I think I've already put it through a little wear and tear. The white gold covering is already coming off to a shiny yellow and one of the little diamonds looks off center. So when Him and I go shopping for the keeper ring I think we're going to go for some platinum and a very strong setting.

Pappi's Day

So Father’s day was this past Sunday. Because my parents don’t really give a damn about these superficial holidays we went to Her’s family father’s day gathering. There was lots of family there and I got to meet some uncles and aunts I don’t believe I’ve met before. I’ve always liked Father’s Day because I feel that real daddies don’t get enough recognition. I’ve noticed however that as the years go on Father’s Day is being shared with “graduating students” becoming “Dad’s and Grad’s Day.”

Two things I disagree with... The first is that I think it is diluting daddy’s day by smearing it with a day that is less likely to occur if that particular daddy didn’t do a decent job raising a decent kid e.g. graduations. Second thing is that this usually is going on for high school graduates and not College graduates. I think it’s safe to assume this because college students tend to graduate earlier and also graduate in the winter too and I see no ipods going on sale in the winter time. In any case this is rewarding someone for doing something they’re SUPPOSED TO DO. You’re supposed to graduate high school. Why the fuck do you get presents for doing something that if you failed to complete you’d be shunned for. Shouldn’t the lack of shunning be enough of a gift that you would want to graduate?

There is a plus to all of this though; the sales. Apparently, dads and grads like the same toys, which is awesome to me because it shows that guys will never really change and will still like cool shiny gadgets as we go towards our older years.

Freakin' Gas Prices

Alright everyone and their mothers have complained about gas prices. I know that already. I'm going to bitch about it now but at the end I'll relate it back to the wedding.

(How the hell am I going to relate gas prices to a wedding?! Read on to find out)

I recently got some gas, driving a truck it is something I oft do. I have a credit card that gives me a rebate on gas. If you don't have one I strongly suggest you get one. In any case when you use a credit card to buy gas the initial swipe has the gas station deducts a certain amount, you know, to make sure you have enough money. Usually the amount is a really high total and however much gas you bought, the difference is refunded back to you when you are done. Well the last two gas transactions I had were $75 even. I didn't notice the first time because that sort of thing happens, the second time in a row however I checked my gauge after filling up and the fuckin' thing isn't full. $75 does not fill up my tank anymore. In order to get a complete fill up I have to do two transactions for a total of AT LEAST $75! SONAVABITCH.

Now, onto the wedding. When it comes to weddings some people like traditions. They like to include things that their family or religion have done for generations. Me, I'd like to have a personal wedding. I want my wedding to say "Him's Wedding" at every turn. I would be very happy if every one of my guests thought to themselves, "damn Him really had his hand in everything here." For example, I don't like cake all that much. But pie... ohhhh pie. So if it were up to me I'd have a wedding pie and me and the wife would cut it with a samurai sword. I do however realize that I am getting married to another person and that person probably have their own ideas about how their wedding will be.

So, when wedding talk started to get serious I asked Her, "look, you have two choices. Either I play no important role in this, I pretend to care about every third thing (which is advice given to me by a very wise now-married person), and you just tell me the day before when and where I'm have to show up OR my opinion counts 50% on everything. And honestly Her has been really good about all this. She was even ok with the pie and samurai sword idea, just so long as she can have the option of warm brownies and ice cream. My fiance is awesome.

But this entry hasn't been about my finance. She's been great. Her mother though... That's a different story altogether. Her mother is a pretty traditional Jew. Much like any traditional culture a wedding is a "village event." The wedding isn't about or for the two people getting married. It's for their families and the various people the parents know and want to impress. The dad wants to suck up to his boss? Guess who's coming to the wedding. I for the most part am alright with this kind of wedding. I understand. It is however the type of wedding that you just need to tell me when and where to show up the day before and I'll be there. I think Her's mother really really wants to do that sort of wedding. And I'd be ok with it but Her doesn't want that type of wedding either.

There is however another option. And this option is the only way this whole entry of mine can work. Her dad has always suggested eloping. Every time the wedding topic comes up he whispers to Her, or to both of us to elope. With eloping we save him a whole mess of trouble and he'll just give us the money that he would have spent on the wedding. And you know what? I could spend that money and get me a motorcycle...

I've always wanted a motorcycle, and it'd save me a rack of gas money too.

Her...

Hey! You tricked me. Oh well, it works as a good introduction.

Him: Introduction

So why a blog? Well to answer that I guess I have to tell you why everything this is about...

You see, I am a forgetful man. I blogged in the past to keep a record of past experiences, share stories and save myself the trouble of trying to remember what stories I told who in order to not repeat myself. I blog now because I have been engaged for a whole month now and have noticed that not only is this a new adventure I would like to remember and keep a record of, but it also holds massive potential for fun stories, opportunities to poke fun at myself and share our experiences to all of you lovely people.

It all started one Saturday morning in bed. This is where I proposed to my fiance. Yes I did propose to Her one Saturday morning while waking up in bed. Yes while a proposal in bed is not the most epic proposal ever; when it comes as a result of a conversation that was me stating that I could not imagine not wanting to marry Her and wanting to be with Her until a time I cannot begin to imagine; it was plenty romantic.

Being a man that has been the officiant of 4 weddings, part of 3 wedding parties and attended countless others there are some patterns one tends to notice. The first one that came to mind was that if you are proposing to someone to delay the talk of marriage you are in for a rude slap in the nuts. Proposing is the green light to open the flood gates to the superfluous-metaphoric dam of all the wedding dreams your now fiance has collected over the X number of years of her life. I had accepted this fact already and therefore was alright with the decision to get out of bed and go pick out her ring. Yea I haven't bought the ring at this point, sue me. I was willing to go right then and there to get it though, that makes me even right?

The ring story I'll leave up to Her since it's more of Her cup of tea than mine.

One more thing that I will add though is this. In the age we live in not only is there a library of books for every activity or fascination we have but there is also entire worlds of online forums and communities for you to log into to gather up an entire army of "yes men" and "yes woman" who will both completely agree with everything you say and have your back no matter what crazy side you make pick. As much as I love my computer I choose the path of private reading and got a book on marriage. Jeez a book, this ordeal is already changing me.

FELLAS. Heed my words. Should you find yourself in a similar position as me here are some words of advice. DO NOT pick up a wedding book written for men BY A WOMAN. Unless of course you want to be yelled at by your fiance AND your literature about how you should not complain so much because all YOU have to do is care and that's nothing because that can't even compare to finding a stylist and then having to find the right style, get test hair and make-up then find the dress, and then make sure the dress, hair and make-up all match and THIS IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD ALREADY CARE ABOUT ANYWAYS! Seriously, if you don't mind feeling lost and completely unjustified in your actions by all means... I instead, picked up this book which is filled with diagrams and short, easy to read FUNNY sections. You don't have to listen to me but the fact that I even know about test runs for hair and make up means I've been there and I'm just trying to help YOU out brah.

Him & Her

“Him”

A large Asian fellow who is a tad too proud of that fact. A large tendency towards wild gestures and loud outbursts. A large jovial fellow usually pleasant enough but is dense and stubborn and is therefore difficult to move once a situated (this goes both physically and mentally). While intelligent enough, is more likely to resolve things with brawn. It is the first and last course of action that he takes. The pattern usually follows as such:

- Problem presents itself
- First attempt to solve problem is minor physicality or threat of physicality
- Second attempt is through logic or abstract thinking
- Third attempt is the utter destruction of said problem usually via fists but occasionally through sledge hammer

The Male seems to unable to perceive things such as awkwardness which makes those around him tend to feel even more awkward when those situations arise. Should you find yourself in such a situation the best course of action is to pretend to be unassociated with Him. If such options are not available to you best just go along with it and enjoy the ride. Such is the effect of him, best to enjoy the ride with him or do your best to ignore him.


"Her"

“Him:” I'm forwarding you something

this is my intro for the blog

you should write one for yourself

“Her:” your intro is very interesting..........................

“Him:” you should write one

“Her:” mmmmm

it scares me

I’ll think about it

“Him:” what's to think about?

you don’t have to include your name

“Her:” I so bad at writing and expressing my ideas

“Him:” meh

it's not hard

“Her:” says the writer

“Him:” I'm hardly a writer

“Her:” running isn't hard

lets go run a few miles

“Him:” it's not

I just hate doing it

“Her:” you can't run miles

“Him:” sure I can

it'll just kill me

“Her:” sigh

“Him:” and make me want to (but entirely unable to) kill others

“Her:” why do you NEVER get what I’m trying to say

ever

you neve ever get my point

haha

ever ver

never

maybe that's why I assume I'm bad at expressing myself

you fight me on everything I say always

“Him:” tell you what, this will be a find intro

it'll be hysterical

“Her:” find intro?

“Him:” fine*

“Her:” ok

“Him:” sweet, saved!

“Her:” well huh

confused…

“Him:” no worries

^_^