Why this is funny to me...

I was sitting here thinking to myself about this blog and how we don't really talk about our relationship all that much. Actually Her doesn't really talk all that much and I, being the online whore will just talk about what comes to mind. Truth be told I am a man and frankly men don't really think about our relationships on a constant basis. Certainly not enough or to any degree that I would consider interesting enough to blog about. That doesn't mean there isn't humor to be had in this scenario though. So allow me to express to you what it is that I find so damn funny.

There is a fairly big list of contradictions of why me and Her would sort of clash. Some of them is because she's Jewish and I'm an un-kosher pork eating heathen, but others are just because she's who she is and I'm who I am. I'll give you a quick example of a culture clash. Pigs are viewed in many religions as "unclean." Muslim being one of them and Jewish being another one. Chinese people have a saying; "if it has legs and is not a chair, we eat it. If it flies and is not a plane, we eat it. One big delicacy is a suckling pig, which is delicious. Therein lies a problem already, her family can't have pig and shellfish and that's a lot of what Chinese people eat at weddings.

Do you see now the dileama?

Jewish people tend to raise their children using a system of guilt. Kids feel guilty about something they did or didn't do and made to feel this way so that the inappropriate behavior won't continue. Chinese people (including a lot of other Asians) use a system of shame to raise their children. Which says to me that Chinese children must be more evil than Jewish children because it's a lot easier to say something and make the kid feel bad than to go and grab the beating stick to beat the child preferably in a public place to not only shame the child into doing right but also to serve as a warning to all the other children. To us it doesn't matter if you feel bad or not, you've done something bad and you should be punished.

This is of course full of generalalities and I should take the time that not all Jewish people are like what I've said (Maryland Jews eat crabs) and not all Chinese people are like what I've said either (monks are vegans). So to avoid further generalities I'll get to how we are (me and Her) on a personal level.

I am emotionally constipated. I am unfamiliar with the feeling of empathy, I laugh at probably unappropriate things and times, and other than a big hug and a paitient ear I don't really have much to offer for emotional woes. Her lives in a world of spirituality, feelings and emotions. These things have great meaning to her and without she feels off balance; a shell of her former self. The way in which we make this work? She's a hug-slut. My hug-slut. For her there's something in being that close to someone and feeling a connection in a moment of suspended bliss. For me, I get to slightly squish something. That, and she smells nice.

There's more but it's too many to put all in one post. Maybe sometime later.