"Summer Classes for Men"

Saw this on one of my gaming guild forums and thought it was funny. Wanted to write a response for women but thought better of it because it would seem sexist on that forum. I have no problem doing it on my own blog though! Original post and my version after.

Summer Classes for Men at THE LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 27th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM ..

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM ..

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.




My response...

Summer Classes for Women at THE LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 27th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE OVERWHELMINGLY SIMPLICITY
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE UNLIMITED AND NO NOTES ARE ALLOWED TO BE TAKEN.
Relax and stop over thinking.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Beer Mug--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Potpourri--Do bathrooms really need rabbit food?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Peeing Standing Up--You can do it, we can help.
Target class will be scheduled on a future date depending on interest.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between A Car With Oil Changed Regularly and Not--Pictures, Diagrams and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Work Requests--You can either tell us to do something or how to do it, not both.
Therapy sessions on relaxation and letting things go meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6
Sense of Identity--Not losing your identity to vapid talking heads telling you what you ought to be and how.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming at the Man.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Giving Him Head Is Not Harmful To Your Health and is Great for His.
Graphics, Audio Tapes, Movies, Pamphlets, Demonstrations, Technique Discussions, Models, Guided Tours, Lectures, Virtual Reality simulation, Round Table Discussion, Square Table Discussion, Freakin' ANY and all Discussion, Note Cards, Phone Call Reminders, Telegrams, Sing-O-grams, Money-Grams, Strip-O-Grams, Highway Billboards, and Sky Writing.
Five nights; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday at 7:00 PM for as long as we have to.

Class 9
Real Women Don't Brace Themselves For Everything That Comes Within a 40 ft. Radius of the Car--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Parallel Park Well?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to How to Live with Each Other--Basic Differences Between Not Remembering and Not Caring.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Gaming Companion.
Waitressing Exercises, Don't Forget the Funions.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Dying from Heat and Cold within 5 min of Each Other.--Eat something; preferably something with iron.
One night; When do you want me to pick you up?

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration--Yea, you too.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.

Upon completion of all of the above courses, halos will be issued to the students.